At this point in my life, I was broken. I wasnt sure at this point, What these emotions were that I was going through. I was crying constantly. I would start crying for absolutely No reason what so ever. There were multiple times that someone would ask me what was wrong, and Honestly I couldn’t tell them what was wrong, or why I was Bawling my eyes out. I was a mess. I didn’t want to be around anyone, I didnt want to talk to anyone, I was sooo mad at the world. I was mad at God. Why is it that when My Grandfather finally turned his life to you, why did you take him from me? I needed him!!!
I was so angry! My faith faded. I needed my grandpa. He was gone. I could no longer pick up the phone and call him. My hurt turned into straight anger. I hated everyone. My heart was broken. Why would God punish me by taking the only man in my life who truly loved me. Through my life, I had my relationships, like all teenagers do, But Never had I ever felt Loved. Now do not get me wrong here, I’m not saying a romantic relationship is the same as a relashonship that a Grandfather has for his Granddaughter, because it wasnt like that. The fact was the only man who had ever truly showed me unconditional love was gone. There was an empty spot.
I had gotten so bad, that I was ready to end my life. My life was over. I missed my Grandpa so much. The hole that was left in my heart was one that hurt so bad. I physically was hurting along with mentally. Knowing I had to figure out how to continue living for Hailey, I turned to doctors. It was at that point I was diagnosed with clinical Depression. I knew nothing about Depression. I knew my Grandpa had ended his life because he was so unhappy, But I did not know why He hurt so bad or what was going on in his head or mine. I’m sure you have heard about depression, But, The same as I, I really didn’t understand what came with it. I did not know this is what I was going through.
Description of Clinical Depression: The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem. Depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide.
Symptoms:
Falling for Officer Conley 